Domestic duties, who’s responsibility is it?
Who does what in the household is always a question and discussion to have, and until you clear up this little household dilemma, there can be underlying friction, which can ultimately turn to resentment.
Of course, the first reaction is… not your responsibility, unless you want to be someone’s mother.
However, there is always some room for negotiation. Firstly you need to consider what your skills, wants and needs are. If you are the one who likes to have things neat and tidy, then you better take the job of picking things up and give the removal of garbage to the other person. Here’s a few questions to ask:
1. What are your dislikes around the home
2. What do you not like to do
3. What do you actually get pleasure from.
4. What can you live with
5. What can you not live with
If you can honestly answer these questions you are well on the way to achieving a workable arrangement that can keep both of you happy.
Can being apart work?
Falling in love with someone who lives far away, in another state or even country, can be challenging but it’s not impossible. Planes, trains, phones and email can keep a long distanced relationship connected. This will be ok for a while, but sooner or later you will both need to live in the same location if you want to continue the relationship and take your union to the next level.
You can see each other for long weekends and holidays but that’s just what it will be, a holiday romance, and you’ll both be on your best behaviour each time you get together as you know your time is limited. You need to spend considerable time together to see if you are truly compatible.
Is it healthy to be dependent on someone?
Life is best when it is made up of dependent and independent moments.
Dependent: Firstly, to be dependent on someone shows you have trust, faith and respect of someone and on some level you feel safe that you are being looked after.
Independent: to be independent is a fabulous feeling, to be able to make your own decisions when you want to, or have your own money, your own interests, and be your own person.
If it’s a relationship you are looking to have then both of these situations have flaws. To be too dependent can give away your personal power and you lose the essence of who you are. To be too independent is to not commit to having someone in your life and you may have a hesitancy to let them fully into your life.
What you want to strive for is a balance of two; on some level relationships should reflect integrity of equality for a healthy relationship to last the test of time.